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9 Things Not to Say to Worshippers on Christmas Eve

-I haven’t seen some of you since Easter! You look great!

-The ushers are going come to forward now to take the first of four offerings. Let us pray.

-As the offering plates go around be aware that we have plenty 1-dollar bills. However, our 20 and 50-dollar bills need company.

-We’ve locked all the doors and will not open them until our outstanding pledgers have paid up.

-We welcome our church alumni. We’ll be glad to save your seat for Easter Sunday!

-My sermon tonight will have 10 points.

-Our choir will now sing the “12 Days of Christmas” with kazoos.

-Tonight’s closing hymn “Silent Night” will be accompanied by the accordion.

-Children, as you leave tonight, be sure to grab a hand full of candy from the buckets located at all exits. Parents, have a Merry Christmas! 

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